Should Young People Spend Their Free Time with Family or Friends?

Introduction How young people spend their free time has a significant impact on their social and emotional development. Some argue that teenagers should spend more time with their families to strengthen bonds and...

Faglig kvalitetssikret av lærere og toppstudenter · Følger læreplanen (LK20) · Sist oppdatert 2026-09-06

This guide deconstructs the argumentative essay topic 'Should young people spend their free time with family or friends?', providing a model answer and in-depth analysis to help you structure a high-scoring response for your English exam.

Model Essay: Introduction

How young people spend their free time has a significant impact on their social and emotional development. Some argue that teenagers should spend more time with their families to strengthen bonds and benefit from parental guidance. Others believe that young people should use their free time to be with friends, as socializing with peers is an important part of growing up. In my opinion, both family and friends play essential roles, and a balance between the two is necessary for healthy personal development.

Model Essay: The Importance of Spending Time with Family

Family is the foundation of a person’s values, identity, and emotional support system. Spending time with family allows young people to feel loved, safe, and understood. Parents can offer advice, stability, and life experience that friends often cannot provide. For example, sharing meals, taking family trips, or simply talking together helps strengthen communication and trust. Families also play a crucial role in shaping moral values and decision-making. When teenagers spend time with their parents or siblings, they learn empathy, responsibility, and the importance of mutual respect. This foundation prepares them for adult life and helps them build healthy relationships later on.

Model Essay: The Role of Family in Guidance and Support

During adolescence, young people face academic pressures, emotional changes, and difficult choices about the future. Spending time with family provides emotional stability during these times. Parents can guide their children through challenges and help them develop self-confidence. Moreover, strong family bonds protect young people from negative influences and risky behavior. For instance, teenagers who maintain close relationships with their families are often less likely to engage in harmful activities such as substance abuse or violence. Therefore, time spent with family is not only about affection but also about protection and moral growth.

Model Essay: The Benefits of Spending Time with Friends

On the other hand, friends play a vital role in helping young people develop independence and social skills. Adolescence is a stage where individuals begin to form their own identities, often through interactions with peers. Spending time with friends allows young people to share experiences, express themselves freely, and learn about cooperation and conflict resolution. Friendships also teach tolerance and understanding of different perspectives, as friends often come from diverse backgrounds. Socializing with peers builds communication skills and emotional intelligence — qualities that are essential for success in adult life.

Model Essay: Peer Relationships and Personal Growth

Being part of a peer group also provides a sense of belonging, which is important for mental health and self-esteem. When young people spend time with friends, they often feel accepted and supported in ways that differ from family relationships. For example, discussing school challenges, personal dreams, or social issues with friends can help teenagers feel understood and less alone. Additionally, spending time with peers encourages independence by allowing young people to make decisions on their own. Learning to manage friendships, solve conflicts, and take responsibility for one’s actions are all essential steps in becoming a mature adult.

Model Essay: The Need for Balance

While both family and friends are essential, spending too much time with one at the expense of the other can create problems. Excessive time with family might limit independence and social experience, while focusing only on friends may weaken family bonds and lead to misunderstandings. The ideal situation is a healthy balance. For instance, young people can spend weekdays studying and eating meals with their families, and weekends socializing with friends. This approach ensures that they receive emotional support from their families while developing independence and social awareness through friendships.

Model Essay: Conclusion

In conclusion, both family and friends are crucial in shaping a young person’s character and happiness. Family provides guidance, stability, and moral grounding, while friends foster independence, empathy, and social confidence. It would be unwise to choose one over the other completely. Instead, young people should strive to balance their time between the two, learning from their families while enjoying the companionship and freedom that friendships bring. Such balance helps them grow into emotionally stable, confident, and well-rounded individuals ready to face the world.

Why this matters on the exam

Argumentative essays posing a dilemma, like whether young people should spend their free time with family or friends, are a staple of English exams from VG1 to VG3. This format directly tests your ability to understand a complex issue, consider multiple perspectives, and construct a coherent, well-supported argument. The Norwegian national curriculum (LK20) emphasizes critical thinking and the ability to "express oneself with nuance". This type of task requires you to move beyond simple opinions and demonstrate analytical skills. For example, an exam might ask you to discuss if technology helps or harms family relationships, or to debate whether young people should follow traditions. The core skill is the same: balancing two valid viewpoints and reaching a reasoned conclusion.

Core concepts for this essay

To elevate your analysis from a simple opinion piece to a structured academic essay, you should integrate key concepts from psychology and sociology. This demonstrates a deeper understanding of the forces shaping an adolescent's life.

ConceptDefinition and Relevance
Identity FormationThis is the development of the distinct personality of an individual during adolescence. Psychologist Erik Erikson described this as the "Identity vs. Role Confusion" stage. Family provides the initial identity, but peer groups offer a space to experiment with and solidify a personal identity. You can argue that friends are crucial for this experimental phase.
SocialisationThis is the lifelong process of inheriting and disseminating norms, customs, and ideologies. Family is the agent of primary socialisation, teaching fundamental values and behaviours. Friends and school are agents of secondary socialisation, teaching how to behave in a wider social context. A strong essay will show how both are necessary.
Peer GroupA social group whose members have similar interests, age, background, or social status. For teenagers, the peer group provides a sense of belonging and validation outside the family unit. It's a micro-society where they learn negotiation, compromise, and conflict resolution without adult intervention.
Emotional ScaffoldingA term describing the supportive framework that helps an individual navigate emotional or cognitive challenges. Parents typically provide this scaffolding, offering advice and a safety net built on unconditional love and long-term experience. This contrasts with the more reciprocal, but often less stable, support from peers.

Common pitfalls students fall into

Examiners frequently see the same mistakes in essays on this topic. Avoiding them is a direct path to a higher grade.

  • The Extreme Argument. Many students pick one side—either family or friends—and argue it exclusively. This fails to address the prompt, which implicitly asks for a discussion of both. An essay that claims "friends are all that matter to a teenager" is simplistic and ignores the foundational role of family, thus scoring poorly. To avoid this, structure your essay with dedicated paragraphs for each perspective before moving to a balanced conclusion.
  • Unsupported Generalisations. Students often write broad statements like "Family always provides good advice" or "Friends lead to bad behaviour." These are stereotypes, not arguments. A much stronger approach is to use nuanced language and specific examples. Instead of "friends are a bad influence," you could write: "While peer groups can provide positive support, they can also exert pressure towards conformity, which may lead to risky behaviour if an adolescent lacks a strong moral compass established within the family."
  • The "List" Structure. A common pitfall is to simply list points: "Point 1 for family. Point 2 for family. Point 1 for friends. Point 2 for friends." This lacks analytical flow. A sophisticated essay connects these ideas. For instance, you can link the paragraphs by using transitions that show contrast or reinforcement: "While the family unit provides a crucial safety net, it is often within the peer group that adolescents first learn to navigate social complexities on their own terms." This creates a logical argument rather than a simple inventory of ideas.

What the examiner looks for

An experienced examiner can quickly differentiate a mediocre essay from an excellent one. Here is what they are trained to reward: …

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